My jugs

I thought that breastmilk came in AFTER the baby is born, but as of a few weeks ago when I woke up from a nap with a wet shirt I discovered that my milk factory is in production. I guess I should count myself lucky because I know that quite a few women struggle with milk production, and who really knows if what's dropped so far means anything for what will be there when my little one pops out. All I know right now is that my boobs are working for what they were designed for (contrary to my husband's opinion) and in a few weeks I'll have a baby attached to them multiple times a day.

I've grown a new appreciation for all things breast related, especially after taking the breast feeding class at the hospital. I never knew that the milk comes out of multiple holes that all converge at the nipple, that the most important part of nursing is the latch, and that it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right. I also didn't realize in taking the class that there are so many ways it can go wrong. I mean, really, humankind has survived for however many thousands or millions of years by women putting a new baby up to their breast without certified lactation consultants, classes, and external breast pumps, but obviously things have gotten lost in translation from generation to generation. If I wasn't pregnant, it might be awkward to talk to my mom or grandma about breastfeeding, but now I see them (and their breasts) with a whole new perspective. At the same time, I do hope that my maternal instincts will lead me to figure it out on my own.

As unsure as I am about how it will all come together, I'm actually excited about nursing my daughter. What I'm not as excited about, however, is the lack of sleep that I hear comes with having a newborn. You see, I LOVE my sleep with a capital L-O-V-E. I enjoy getting 8-9 hours a night, and even though I wake up every time I turn over in bed because my pelvic bones feel like they're separating from each other I don't actually have to get out of bed to interract with another human being. I know that having her sleep in our room for the first little while will make nursing more convenient (and it helps with SIDS prevention according to our baby prep classes), but it's still hard for me to imagine what it will feel like to have my sleep pattern changed so dramatically. I'm not going to prep for it by setting my alarm to go off every two hours from now until she's born, or seeing how long I can stay awake in one stretch to experience a taste of sleep deprivation, but I am curious to see how I'll actually be able to function on less than 7 hours of sleep a night (currently my minimum allowable sleep allotment). What you may see is a string of incoherent blog posts (or none at all), and my current set of chins migrating to the bags under my eyes. Either way, my brain knows that it's coming, but my body may have a tough time adjusting.

Do you have any tips or tricks for helping with nursing or the impending sleep deprivation that's on its way?

The end is the beginning

Here I am, 26 days from my December due date and I realized that my other blog (onelittlesumner.blogspot.com) has focused entirely on the beauty of pregnancy without really tapping into the extraordinary fear of the unknown that I, as a mom-to-be, am becoming intimately familiar with. We tried for a year to get pregnant before being blessed with the little life that's growing inside me, but...holy cow...there's a little life growing INSIDE me!!! So, now that I'm almost at the end of this 40 week journey (I still don't know if it's really 9 or 10 months...anybody?), I know that it's really just the beginning of a new lifelong story that's been written already by an awesome God and I get to experience it one day at a time.

As poetic as that may sound, what you don't see are my three chins, my butt that's as big as my pregnant belly, and the leaks on my shirt when my milk ducts decide it's time to practice for labor-day. This blog is not intended to beautify or bash pregnancy or motherhood (one of which I have yet to finish, and the other of which I have yet to start). It's really just my experience with both that will hopefully let other moms and moms-to-be know that they're not alone. Sure, there's Babycenter and TheBump, but in my book those don't hold a candle to sharing why we as women sometimes just feel inept, scared, passionate, and strong all at the same time.

So, comment away, let me know what you think and share your own experiences because I know they says it takes a village to raise a child, but I think it really takes a village to raise a mom. This is my village, and I might stand as an island of one for a while, but I have faith that I'm not the only person who doesn't know what the heck she's doing.